Travis Rutz Article

This is the unedited article featured in the June 2010 issue of Flat Out Magazine. I don't think there could have been anything else on the planet I would have been more honored to write about. BTP Trav. :)

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BTP. It’s his motto. It was fixed to the side of his car in place of his name. Give him a crappy track surface. Start him in last position. Tell him he doesn’t have a chance to win. None of it mattered. ‘Cause every night was a BRING THE PAIN night; and the haters, non-believers and small dreamers were the first on his list to feel the burn.

I’d imagine the Powers of the Universe must have looked down upon Travis Rutz and smiled. “Trivial things like multiple championships and record breaking stats aren’t going to mean a thing to this kid,” It must have thought. “Why settle for merely conquering a sport, when you are one of the select few who can conquer the human spirit?” And so for whatever reason, on September 27, 2009, at Terre Haute Speedway…

CRASH.

Immediately following the accident, Trav was standing at Death’s door. Trav knocked, Death opened the door, and anyone who knows Trav well can tell you exactly what he said with those piercing eyes of determination before turning on Death, never looking back. “Bring the pain MoFo. Bring the pain.”

In September the artery behind Trav’s left eye was repaired and he was put into an induced coma. October brought slight movement in the form of trying to open his eyes and tiny squeezes of the hand (squeezers). There was even a glimpse of a brief smile one day. Probably because he must have known he’d be flying back to his home in British Columbia that same month. In November Trav moved out of the critical care unit. His eyes were wide open for short periods, his breathing tubes were removed, and he laughed for the first time. December is the month he attempted to speak. By January Trav started his hyperbaric and acupuncture treatments. Through these treatments it became clear his legs were still attached to his brain. In February his arms and legs showed much more movement. A rehab bike is added to his growing list of therapies. By March, Trav returned home for good and finds an engine puller mounted to the ceiling in his room to assist with the task of getting him in and out of bed. And in April (when this article was written), Trav was finally put on the waiting list to get into the Halvar Jonson Centre for Brain Injury in Ponoka, Alberta.

Trav has come a long way since standing at Death’s door, although the road ahead of him is still exhaustingly long. But he’ll do it. There is no one else on the planet I would have more faith in than Trav to transcend beyond what hopefuls think is possible or defy what experts think is logical. He’s bigger than possibilities and logic. He always has been. In fact, he’s bigger than himself. Since his fight began, he’s inspired haters to rebuild community. He’s instilled hope in the lives on non-believers. He’s opened doors of endless possibilities to small dreamers. Some people have become so inspired, they’ve had BTP permanently tattooed to their bodies. Everyone from weekend warriors to the World of Outlaws have BTP and Travis Rutz stickers plastered to the sides of their cars. The ASCS Northwest’s hard charger award now fittingly bears his name. It’s infectious! It’s also called conquering the human spirit. A feat so timeless and impressionable, it’ll literally change the course of people’s lives forever.

Bring the pain MoFos, bring the pain.

For the latest updates on Trav’s condition and what you can do to help with his recovery, go to www.TravisRutz.com.

Learning How to Fly

I'm an absolute sucker for inspirational quotes. They're plastered in frames and on post-a-notes all over my home. If I could get a job thinking that inspirational shit up, I would. But, 'ehh... I hang out at dirt tracks, so my inspiration is a little rough around the edges. Not to mention I wouldn't want to sell out and have my inspirational ideas accompanied by some water color of a daisy and butterfly on the cover of a Hallmark card.

Who could I possibly inspire anyway?

That's the beauty of inspiration. You never know when, where, what or who you will one day inspire. But let me tell you something I know for sure. You, the one reading this right now, will inspire several lives without even knowing it. You will inspire people through your greatest and lowest moments in life. Sometimes your inspiration may be completely backwards or hardly existent, but it's there, and it's just enough to change someone's course for the better.

For example, I was reading photo captions on a friend's Facebook page and came across this quote:

"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!"

A couple years ago I may have merely nodded my head in agreement to the frou frou bible'ish saying. However, since I read it for the first time just recently... at this particular point in my life... it made me cry. Again, you never know when you will inspire someone, and you never know at which moment you yourself are ready to be inspired.

"Why am I freakin' crying?" I asked the emptiness in my home immediately after reading the frou frou bible'ish words.

Like a flash out of nowhere, I saw an image of myself in the old run down apartment I lived in just after I got out of college. Without getting into much detail, those were some tough times. Working a couple jobs. Not having any friends (since all my college friends lived out of state). And trying to be a big girl, I was too proud to ask for financial assistance even though I hardly had enough money to buy food.

In any case, for a period of just about a year during this particular time of hardship, I had a handful of the most realistic dreams I've ever had in my entire life. I don't typically remember my dreams, but these were absolutely unforgettable. The kind you never want to wake up from because their experience is more deliciously real than your own true reality.

These handful of dreams (about six of them) were the kind that had every molecule in my body pulsating with energy when I'd wake up. It was the most incredible feeling... EVER. I'm talking better than sex or brownie sundaes!! Every hair and every cell of skin on my body was alert and alive. Inside it felt like a fireworks show. And not just any fireworks show, but a fireworks show in which the entire show was the grand finale. Heart pounding, mind numbing, spirit lifting, pure bliss.

My dreams... were about flying.

I remember every detail as though it was an experience that actually happened. My face piercing through the wind. Hair in a dancing surrender to the speed. A perspective of the world quite possibly never seen or interpreted by a human being before.

And the internal feelings. How can I possibly describe the internal feelings? It was like being terrified above and beyond your greatest fears, yet there was no worry or doubt. It was like achieving the most incredible thing imaginable, yet there was no desire to achieve anything at all. It was like discovering love in it's most concentrated and powerful form, yet it was a love you've always known.

"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!"

I think I now know why I cried.

God, the Universe, my Higher Self... whatever It is that is greater than me... It's waiting for me to fly. From my dreams many years ago, I know what it feels like to fly, and I know at this point in my life, I've never felt those feelings in a wakened reality.

But I will.

When I find my way. Eventually.

Eventually I'll find myself at the edge of a cliff. Eventually I'll have the courage to let go and swan dive into my greatest fears, doubts and excuses. And when I do, I'll discover that all my fears, doubts and excuses preventing me from grasping my greatest achievements will no longer exist. You're flying when fear, doubts and excuses vanish. And when I'm "flying" in this space of determined focus and balance, I'll discover the love I've painfully been yearning to find has always been and always will be the true essence of who I am. It was never lost. Only I was lost.

"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!"

But it's hard to let go. I'm standing on the edge of a cliff right now in my life, and I'm scared to jump. No matter how much I trust that everything will turn out OK or how much I believe the ending will turn out exactly as it was meant to play out, I'm still scared to jump.

But I will.

I can feel my toes wiggling anxiously over the cliff's edge. My legs are bending slightly at the knees as if adjusting for the perfect leap. And the memory of feeling alive from every molecule of my being is pulling my focus to a place in which the only way to get there is to fly.

My time for take off is near. :)