Going into the Holidays Differently... Maybe a Racing Charity?

In 2008, it snowed on Christmas. It snowed so much, people were advised to not leave their homes. I wouldn't have been able to leave my home even if I wanted to. I was trapped and alone with nothing but an empty stocking, a box of Hamburger Helper and "A Christmas Story" on DVD.

At first it was quite sad. It felt lacking. No family. No cheer. No tasty holiday treats. No presents. Nothing. It was just quiet and still. It felt like the beginnings of the worst Christmas of my life.

Ironically, it wasn't.

I can't even begin to explain it. Definitely wouldn't be able to capture the feeling in a blog. Regardless of the fact that my Christmas last year contained hardly any ingredients required for a perfect commercialized holiday... it felt more like Christmas than any other I can remember. And it was a lasting feeling too. There wasn't any of that depression lingering once the presents are opened and the meal is devoured.

Apparently being isolated on Christmas day gave me the opportunity to realize that the only things I really want and need in life can't be bought, sold, traded, borrowed, or gifted by another. The only things I truly want and need simply require hard work, determination and a little faith on my part. Everything else is just... "stuff."

So this year my plan is to enter the Christmas season a little differently than I have before. This year my gift to my family is going to be taking them out for the afternoon and letting each person in my family pull a name off a giving tree for kids that truly do need something more this holiday season. Once each of my family members chooses a gift for their child (or teen/adult/senior) of choice, I'll buy that gift as a donation in thier honor.

So my gift to my family (especially my little nieces... who have EVERYTHING) will be the joy of making someone else's life brighter. Because no one in my family, like me, needs more "stuff." It also will double as a chance for us to spend some quality time together. After all, time spent with the ones you love is better than anything that can be wrapped up in a box.

I'm also requesting that they don't buy me any gifts this year either. Instead, the money they would have used to buy my gift(s) can be used to buy more gifts for some needy kids, or to purchase a few gift certificates to grocery stores to ensure that at least a few additional families out there will have a meal to eat on Christmas.

Originally I wanted to help a racing family (or families) that may have been hit by some tough times due to the economy. (Well... technically I can still do this if someone gets me the name of a family quick!!!). But I wasn't quite sure how to go about locating such a family...... this year. But I'm seriously thinking about maybe slowly building a charity that would help racing families during the holidays in the coming year. The racing community is so fantastic. I really think some amazing things could be accomplished by the racing folks in the off season when many are starving for something to focus their attention on. I know I am. :)

So anyway... those are just some thoughts that have been running through my head at a time when the anxiety and questions over what to get this person and that person starts consuming your life. Maybe the real question is are you just buying "stuff" or are you changing the course of humanity?

The Offseason is a Time for Reflection...

Part of me absolutely hates the racing offseason, for obvious reasons. Another part of me looks forward to the offseason being that it gives me a chance to reflect on the past so I can go forward in the future more enlightened/refreshed. However, this offseason is going to be so much more intense for me. I can sense it. Part of the reason for this is because on practically the very first day of my offseason I learned that "my boy," Travis Rutz, had been involved in an extremely serious racing accident.

I remember a couple years ago seeing a fairly bad accident at the track. It was horrible. All accidents are horrible until you see the drivers walk away... which is something I want to make sure is stated extremely clearly before I write my next sentences. In any case, I remember my heart breaking as they carried this kid off in a stretcher, someone who was a total stranger to me. I also remember thinking to myself, "I don't even want to know what I would do if my Travis was on that stretcher." Well... unfortunately... now I have an answer to that question.

Right after Travis's accident, I was told by a couple extremely reliable sources, to prepare myself for the very worst. I dropped to the floor and cried.

I cried for about three hours. Had a moment of silence. Then cried some more.

Eventually my body became too exhausted to do anything but lay in complete stillness. The only idea left in my head was, "It just takes a fraction of a second to change your life and your vision forever. That being the case, everything you ever wanted doesn't exist in the future... everything you ever wanted needs to exist right now."

Yeah... the above is a little fruity... but it changed my course of thinking. For at the time, everything I ever wanted was still waiting in the future. It was time for me to make some changes. Not knowing if Travis was going to survive or not, it suddenly felt like my duty as a human being was to do everything in life I've always wanted to do in honor of those who have passed on and can't.

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."

Before Trav's accident, I was anxiously waiting for my lucky break in life, some great event that would take place in the future. I felt like my skills were prepared for the challenge and I was open to opportunity. However, after Trav's accident I suddenly realized that preparation and opportunity weren't two separate areas in need of readiness for a lucky future... luck is about being prepared for opportunity in the moment of now.

I wasn't menatally prepared to welcome opportunity at all. I was too trapped under a million excuses as to why this or that couldn't happen. You are never prepared for opportunity if your life is full of excuses... no matter how logical or scientific those excuses may sound. After all, the greatest achievements in this world were reached by those that defied logic and science.

I feel like I'm preparing myself for something big. I'm slowly tossing excuses out the window. Would I quit my job tomorrow and pack up my life to move across the country for something I really wanted? YES!! Which is an amazing concept to me, because just a month or two ago the answer would have almost surely been... no/maybe/I'll think about it.

I'm not totally sure what my final thoughts are regarding this post. Maybe just simply that sometimes out of the darkest and most depressing situations (whether it be the injury/death of a loved one or a depressing time of the year due to a lack of something you love) the most unexpected gifts in life can appear. You just need to be mentally prepared for the new opportunity, and feel lucky to have... not your past.... not your future...... but your NOW. :)

*PS.... my spelling and grammar sucks. You people that like to correct things can bite me!!! :P